January 17

105 FIFM – Communication Barriers That Hurt and Why What You Are Saying and What I’m Saying Is Very Different

How much do we understand our partners? How much do we know our kids? Do we keep constant communication with our parents? Do we keep in touch with our clients? Can communication barriers hurt? Why what you are saying and what I’m saying is very different?

These questions will help us understand the importance of communication in our lives. My wife and I are very different. Since Christmas is fast approaching, we recently had an argument that escalated into tears over a Christmas tree. Despite what happened, it taught us the importance of breaking communication barriers and how important communication is in both personal and business lives.

Overview & Episode Content

  • When can Communication Barriers Hurt – 0:53
  • Why What You Are Saying and What I’m Saying Is Very Different – 9:16

When can Communication Barriers Hurt


My family decided to go to Hillcrest tree farm to get our Christmas tree. On the way there, we stopped at an American Diner and my kids loved it. My daughter told me that she would love to celebrate her birthday there.

Afterward, we went to the tree farm and they had a lot of Christmas stuff. They had a train, a Santa, overpriced trees, and a treehouse. My kids were playing, especially the younger ones, so my wife and I were left with the task of choosing a tree. I know for a fact that my wife knows our house well. We had an 11-foot ceiling so we should get a 7 or 8-foot Christmas tree. We looked at one tree and then she asked for my opinion and I responded. Then, we moved to the next Christmas tree and we repeat the process.

Little did I know that my wife was upset. She told me that I am not giving her feedback which I disagreed because I was giving her the feedback. She was hurt and I got hurt because I felt like she was ignoring me. We ended up arguing and there were tears over a Christmas tree. And so, what ensued was a disagreement of epic proportions.

After getting the tree, we went to Target to get some food for our church visit that evening. While she was buying some stuff, I went out to buy Starbucks for her and me because I was feeling bad about it. When she came back, she also had a Starbucks for me and her because she was also feeling bad about it. Then, we apologized to each other.

We then realized afterwards that, we were saying the same thing but it was received negatively. She wanted my opinion but she thought that despite giving her my opinion, it is not helping her because I told her that she knows the house well more than me. I, on the other hand, thought that she was shutting off my opinion because she already has thoughts on her mind. So, there was some kind of barrier between us because we did not communicate well.

Why What You Are Saying and What I’m Saying Is Very Different


In business, you can be saying something positive or edifying to your customer or your coworker but they didn’t receive it positively or the way it is translated can be different. So, even if your intention to your clients is to make them extremely happy, it can be received as an abrasive response. Thus, you can make your customers sad, angry and eventually lose them.

Dealing with customers is hard without proper communication. I have a client who complains to me because I send too many sweets in the mail. But a different client loves receiving sweets in the mail. One simple gesture but received differently by my two different clients. Your customer can either feel loved or not depending on how you communicate, translate or transpose your message to them.

Proper and constant communication with your client will help you determine and give tons of value to your business relationship. If you do not know how to properly connect to them, you run the risk of destroying the entire relationship even if you are giving them what you believe to be nice things.


Right now, how well do you know your customers? What do you know about the people whom you serve? How well do you know your clients? How much data do you have on them in your CRM? Do you know their spouse’s name? Do you know their birthdays? Who are your top 20 clients? Do you have their mobile phone numbers? These are just some of the things that will help you scale the attention that you otherwise couldn’t scale.

Challenge yourself to see how much data you have and why you need to gather more, so you can differentiate yourself from everyone else.

Resources and Links from the Podcast:

ProSulum’s Website: https://prosulum.com/
Freedom in Five Minutes’ Website: https://www.freedominfiveminutes.com/

Check out this episode!


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